I am Divine

I am extremely camera shy so there is little chance that you will get an opportunity to see a photo of me posted on this blog. I don't even like people looking at me in the real world. If they look too long, I think "Oh, I must have ink or something horrible on my face" and then wait anxiously for that person to turn to someone and say, "Hey, check out that girl with ink or something horrible on her face." So, yeah, neuroses prevent me from putting up a personal photo. Therefore, let me paint you a little verbal picture instead.

Sitting atop my head is a messy mop of shoulder-length-ish curly brown hair. On a good day it is a nest. On a bad day, birds can actually get trapped in this nest, and disappear in there only to re-emerge the following spring with hatchlings in tow. It is unruly, it can be wild, it defies me at every step. I have tried every conceivable magic potion - conditioners, de-frizzing cremes, curl boosters, smoothers, tamers, glossing agents, I could go on - all to no avail.
I have pale skin, that easily flushes crimson when warm, cold, exposed to the sun for more than 30 seconds, if embarrassed (often) or flustered (more often), if I have a sip of wine (not often enough) or if it just feels like it. My pale skin is dry, and despite my tender age it is starting to crease, and despite my advanced age will still mock me with a pimple.
I have a nervous, you might say endearing (but no its not endearing, it is neurotic), habit of chewing on my bottom lip. The result of this is that my lips are often dry in these harsh Canadian winters and there is a permanent front tooth impression in the centre of lower lip.
I spend a lot of time working with my hand, and though my mother used to tell me that my hands were one of my best features, she now plies me with hand cream and tut-tuts over the state of my cuticles.

There you have it. What a pretty picture! So with all that, is there any help to be found out there? As it turns out, yes, there is. The answer lies here.

Carmelsoaps is a fellow Etsy seller, based in Alberta, Canada. My first purchase from her was a trio of lipbalms.

Like any girl, I had always carried lipbalms with me, but unlike any girl, I rarely used them. These balms, however, are so darned tasty that I can't wait for it to wear off, so that I can re-apply. My favorite is the Lemon Cheesecake. The only problem, which isn't really a problem, is that they are made with such high quality ingredients, that they don't disappear fast enough. Since I started using Carmelsoap's lipbalms though I don't suffer through dry lips and I swear the permanent toothmark I mentioned has diminished in appearance.

My next purchase was a ButterCreme Body Creme. I have since also purchased the Vanilla Creme.

If you like to smell like cupcakes, and feel like the goddess of silk, if there is such a deity, this is the product for you. Within days my skin has become soft and smooth, and although my hands benefit from just the remnants left over after applications elsewhere, my cuticles are in much better shape.

Although this lotion is quite miraculous, I did give it a bit of a head start in tackling the dry skin issue by also indulging in one of the shower-candies.

The scent matched the vanilla creme of the lotion so I was a truly tantalizing treat. The shower-candy is a solid, salty, softening, scrubbing bar that sloughs away all your troubles and leaves glowing skin and a soft fragrance in its wake. It is wonderful for the bottom of tired, sore feet as well.

With skin on its way to full repair, there was still the issue of my hair to tackle. I needed to dislodge any trapped birds before their brief, migratory window of opportunity had passed. Luckily, Carmelsoaps had recently added a line of solid shampoo and conditioner bars to her shop.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have tried these from other places before to no avail. I was pretty confident that with the quality of products that I had previously received, I might have better luck. I also knew that there was a chance that they may join my archive of unused hair products. I ripped into them straight away because I could not believe the smell seeping out of the packaging. I chose the Lemon Drops scent. On its own, it is delicious. Use it on the same day as you use the Vanilla Creme body products, and you are a perfectly delectable match to the Lemon cheesecake lipbalm. See... always thinking, I am. Would it work though, in my hair. Happily, the answer is YES! My hair was so soft. And so CLEAN. You know that wonderful "Sqquuuueeeeaaakkk" you hear as you rinse and you know at that moment that your hair is really clean and free of residues - well I rejoiced in that sound. OK, shampoo - check. The real test was in the conditioner. This is where things can, and often do, go horribly wrong for me. I rubbed the bar across my head a few times. Good, it felt like there was product on there. I ran it through my hair with my fingers and tangles came free. My fingers slid through. Sakes alive. Could this be for real? I rinsed, and it rinsed out easily. I toweled dry, and was not immediately met with a new crop of tangles. I added minimal styling product and waited for my hair to air-dry - about an hour - and then went back and though one-partially opened eye, I checked the results in the mirror. I opened that eye fully, and then the other. Could it be... a head of shiny, happy, bouncy curls.

I beamed at myself in the mirror that day. Suddenly I was divine! I'm still not going to post a photo though, so you shall just have to take my word for it.