27 June 2012


I will tell you now that if you are at all squeamish, turn back now!!

I was fortunate enough to sneak out of work early one day this week - no, wait, that is not at all what happened.  I was stupid enough to commit myself to a half day of work on my day off!  When I left the day was glorious sunny, a true bright spot in a week bookended by three day bouts of heavy rains. 

I decided to use the weather to my advantage and finally finish some of the garden projects that I started but hadn't yet had time to finish.  Grabbing my flat of seedlings, I trotted off to the garden. It was as I was picking up one of the bags of soil that I had carelessly left out beside the garden for a several days that I realized the ground below it had become a hidey-hole for horrible little bugs.  Don't ask what kind- they were bugs and that is all I care to know!

Immediately, I panicked!!  Bugs!!  AH... and herein starts the conversation that took place between crazy, insanne me (CIM) and rational me (RM).

CIM:  BUGS!!!  Ack.  Ick.  Oh my god.  OH MY GOD!!  They're in my hair. THEY'RE IN MY HAIR!!!

RM: They aren't in your hair.  How could they be?  They didn't fly there; they have no wings.  They didn't leap there; their legs are too stumpy and kneeless to be leaping legs.

CIM:  Right. Yeh, they aren't in my hair.  OH MY GOD!!! They're in my shorts. THEY'RE IN MY SHORTS!!!

RM: *sigh* They aren't in your shorts. How would they have immediately gotten into your shorts.  Look at how slow they are.  They probably didn't run there; they can barely be bothered to meander!

CIM: Ugh... they are just so gross.  Looks at them.  Ick. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoo.

RM:  Ok, relax.  Go to your happy place.  Gooo toooo yoouurrr hhaaappy plaaace.

CIM: Happy place? My garden is my happy place, but.... IT'S ALL FULL OF BUGS!!!!

RM:  Stop.stop.stop.stop.STOP!  You have more happy places.  Go to another one.

CIM:  OK.  think.think.think.happy.place. The Museum of Natural History! DAMMIT.

RM: I give up.  Crazy... you win!

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