I will tell you now that if you are at all squeamish, turn back now!!
I was fortunate enough to sneak out of work early one day this week - no, wait, that is not at all what happened. I was stupid enough to commit myself to a half day of work on my day off! When I left the day was glorious sunny, a true bright spot in a week bookended by three day bouts of heavy rains.
I decided to use the weather to my advantage and finally finish some of the garden projects that I started but hadn't yet had time to finish. Grabbing my flat of seedlings, I trotted off to the garden. It was as I was picking up one of the bags of soil that I had carelessly left out beside the garden for a several days that I realized the ground below it had become a hidey-hole for horrible little bugs. Don't ask what kind- they were bugs and that is all I care to know!
Immediately, I panicked!! Bugs!! AH... and herein starts the conversation that took place between crazy, insanne me (CIM) and rational me (RM).
CIM: BUGS!!! Ack. Ick. Oh my god. OH MY GOD!! They're in my hair. THEY'RE IN MY HAIR!!!
RM: They aren't in your hair. How could they be? They didn't fly there; they have no wings. They didn't leap there; their legs are too stumpy and kneeless to be leaping legs.
CIM: Right. Yeh, they aren't in my hair. OH MY GOD!!! They're in my shorts. THEY'RE IN MY SHORTS!!!
RM: *sigh* They aren't in your shorts. How would they have immediately gotten into your shorts. Look at how slow they are. They probably didn't run there; they can barely be bothered to meander!
CIM: Ugh... they are just so gross. Looks at them. Ick. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoo.
RM: Ok, relax. Go to your happy place. Gooo toooo yoouurrr hhaaappy plaaace.
CIM: Happy place? My garden is my happy place, but.... IT'S ALL FULL OF BUGS!!!!
RM: Stop.stop.stop.stop.STOP! You have more happy places. Go to another one.
CIM: OK. think.think.think.happy.place. The Museum of Natural History! DAMMIT.
RM: I give up. Crazy... you win!